Subject:
Self-Introduction Letter
Dear Professor
Blackstone,
I am
writing this letter to you with the intent to introduce myself. My name is Teo
Xin Yi, and I am from Robotics Systems Engineering (RSE) course in Singapore
Institute of Technology. My previous school was in Nanyang Polytechnic, in which I studied for a Diploma in Business Informatics. I also further pursued a Specialist
Diploma in Information Systems Development through the Earn and Learn
programme.
The
reason that I chose RSE course was because I have an interest in building
things, and I am curious about a robot operation. I also have a little interest in programming due to my polytechnic course, and it was the reason for my curiosity towards programmers that caused me to notice one of them in my previous job. He was often relied on by our colleagues, regardless of their position, when an issue occurs and he would be able to quickly identify the root caused. This led me to aspire to become a programmer who is knowledgeable in their expertise. Thus, with an interest in this field and my aspiration to become a skilled programmer, I find that robotics is like a dream course to me.
I also think
that it will be crucial for me to be able to communicate well with others. One of
my communication strengths would be my ability to empathize with others well. I would often stand in the shoes of others when I communicate with
them, so that I would not offend them with what I am saying. However, there are times when my feelings or thoughts are misunderstood. It usually happens when I ask a question or when I am explaining something such as work or math problems, the other party would not really understand what I am trying to ask or explain.
In conclusion,
my goal for this module would be to improve my critical thinking and communication skills, such that
there would be a decrease in the misunderstandings caused, which means that my
message is correctly delivered. I would also want to learn how to be more
natural during presentation.
I appreciate
the time taken to read and review my letter.
Thank you.
Regards,
Xin Yi
Edited: 29 Sept 2021
Read: Elson, Zheng Hao & Joshua
Hey Xin Yi,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you already writing and posting the letter. My detailed feedback will follow that of your teammates.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Prof Brad,
DeleteI will look forward to your feedback!
Regards,
Xin Yi
Hello Xin Yi! Based on your introduction letter, I can tell that you are a highly driven person.
ReplyDeleteWhen you mentioned that you have an interest in building things, it reminded me a little of myself. Since I was a young boy, I have always looked forward to Christmas days, as I will receive a Lego set. I will always finish constructing the whole set within hours of receiving them! Thank you for unlocking those memories.
While reading your letter, I noticed a few phrases that were really impressive, but there was one that could be even better with a few minor adjustments. In my humble opinion, you should add an "I" before "am curious about a robot operation". The reason being that it will be more professional.
To end of, I am sure that with your passion, you will be able to meet your objective of improving your communication and critical thinking skills. Thank you!
- Colin
Hi Colin,
DeleteI appreciate your time taken to provide a feedback! I will take note of the mistake and make amendments soon!
Thanks,
Xin Yi
Hi Xin Yi,
ReplyDeleteI hope you will achieve your dream of being a skilled programmer in the near future. Before entering SIT, my workplace also had a programmer that was very capable and she inspired me too so I definitely understand how you feel.
I also have something to clarify-by "and am curious about a robot operation" do you mean you are curious about how robots operate?
Thanks,
Dillon
Hi Dillon,
DeleteI appreciate your time taken to provide a feedback for my letter. Regarding the question that you asked, it is true that I meant that I am curious about how robots operate.
Thanks,
Xin Yi
Dear XinYi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this expressive yet concise and clear letter. You address each of the assignment requirements and do so in a way that I feel shows something about who you are. For example, we can see that you are an empathetic and careful person, one who considers others an their feelings.
I do wonder, however, as I read the letter, what made you admire one of the programmers from your previous workplace. What was it in that person's effort or job scope that caught your eye to the extent that you were even 'inspired'? Providing such rich concrete detail would further enhance this letter.
I also note that you try not to be misunderstood, but since that seems to carry lots of imprtance for you (as it does for many of us), I wonder if you have had cases in interpersonal relations where you feel like others were not able to interpret your action or your words. One example would bring this issue to life for the reader. That's what concrete detail is all about.
In terms of language use, while this is a clear text, there are a few issues to take note of:
1. dangling modifier
-- My previous school was in Nanyang Polytechnic, studying for a Diploma in Business Informatics. > (Who was studying? Your school wasn't.)
2. word use/phrasing
-- Moving on, the reason that I chose .... > (inappropriate transition) ?
-- ...I aspire to become a programmer that is knowledgeable in their expertise. >
...I aspire to become a programmer who is knowledgeable in their expertise.
-- Thus, with an interest in this field and my aspiration to become a skilled programmer, it is like a dream course to me. > (Who has an interest? Who has an aspiration?)
Thus, with an interest in this field and my aspiration to become a skilled programmer, I find that robotics is like a dream course to me.
Thanks again for your effort here. I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for your time taken to read my blog. I have made the amendments accordingly.
Regards,
Xin Yi